These kids who hit their parents: the forgotten education pandemic



Dealing

Long Covid is not just viral. There is also A long educational Covid affects Italian families and who, after the tyrannical children who rule their parents, give birth to a new character that was not lacking: “thugs”.

3-9 year olds who attack their parents when they don’t do what they want, when they are angry, when a short circuit occurs between their desires and adult resistance. Many parents tell me about children who can’t stand the word “no” and who will subsequently go on the offensive.

These are embarrassing situations that upset the traditional parent-child relationship. Historically, it was fathers who hit their children, and today, it is the latter who ‘gives a lot to do’ with punches, kicks, spitting, biting and throwing objects. A new phenomenon, never investigated, that I discovered empirically from my work with parents in educational studies.

It is the unequivocal consequence of two and a half years living in a forced household chaos that has resulted in an increasingly overconfident, symbiotic, and integrative between adults and children. She lived two and a half years under the banner of anxiety, worry, and parental fear into an attitude of remarkable availability, if not subservience.

The authority of adults has significantly decreased: the parent-friend character has grown at the expense of the pedagogical parent; Dad becomes a playmateA typical horse game is where the child is taken on his back and carried around the house. Children who bring the Latvian language to their parents at the age of six are no longer an exception, but almost a rule.

Many children still rely on mothers stepping into the bathroom to clean themselves, while 90% can enter the bathroom when the parents are already busy. A kiss on the lips or the regular use of boyfriend terms like “love” with 6-7 year olds seems out of place.

Family activities proliferated after school as school assignments were no longer the task of the pupils, but a common commitment shared by the whole family, primarily managed by the mother. This is a new picture that is not of a psychological or neuropsychological nature for children, but is exclusively educational.

The pandemic, and thus the war, has vaccinated already fragile parenting situations, from an emotional and educational standpoint. Today we find ourselves angry children whose parents can only contain them by screaming, which only makes the situation worse.

It seems strange that, during these heavy years, refreshments were offered to all but the parents: very little on an economic level, and practically nothing on an educational level. However, school closures and very long quarantines have fallen on the shoulders of families. Many women have stopped working and the average monthly child support expenditure per family is increasing each year. We need to recreate positive images of family education and parenting.

One cannot think that children are raising themselves and that they do not need education. It doesn’t work like this. Educational organization, proper distance is needed to provide children the space in which they can exercise their independence and where parents can truly be a point of reference.

If four-year-olds are able to sleep on their own, this should be an unequivocal primary goal, says Maria Montessori, otherwise it’s not just a mistake, but a risk of these education diseases. I talk about a lot in my books. To continue with this example, there is no Latvian from the fourth year of life, no use, to ensure that boys and girls can find, in the educational role of their parents, the possibility of developing all their potential without excessive care, confidence and assistance. They are useless and subtract resources from youngsters’ self-esteem in their power to grow up happy.

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